A-bacon your pardon?

The shelf-life (or rather fridge-life) of asparagus is not very long. According to some Internet sites, they could only last in the fridge for three days, and that's if you wrap the bottoms with a wet paper towel and keep the bag they are in ventilated. Screw that; I am the worst when it comes to storing perishable items. My fridge is a wasteland -- which is why I was ecstatic to see Tom use asparagus in quite a special way in CL.

77. Pasta with Eggs and Bacon (Carbonara) - asparagus variation - *Pasta*

Asparagus is used as bacon would be in the classic pasta carbonara. Even though carbonara is Italian, it seems to be a staple dish in the U.K. because everyone on Nigella.com seems to rave about it. I have to fess up that I have never made it, never eaten it, and really never payed much attention to what was in it because it was one of those weird pasta dishes that you used egg as the sauce (scary!) and bacon was involved. I don't do bacon!

Tom even adapts this classic recipe in a Telegraph article* he wrote a few days ago. So, this would be the vegetarian's carbonara, and maybe asparagus is the poor man's bacon! Or if I was to look at it logically, bacon is the poor man's asparagus as asparagus is WAY more expensive than bacon round these parts.

So, when I got home from work last night I started on dinner. The actual putting together of ingredients takes only a couple of minutes so I was sure to read the recipe beforehand and get all my ingredients chopped and grated and ready to go.

First, I chopped up some asparagus to roughly the shape of the pasta I was using (orecchiete), and I fried the pieces in some butter till nice and crispy.

While I put the water to boil for the pasta, I grated some poorman'sgrana and mixed it up with an egg yolk. It was pretty thick and I was kind of confused what to do because since I halved the recipe (Rafa flat out refused to eat pasta with asparagus without any type of sauce - not his thing, he says, hrmph!) I would need to use 1 1/2 egg yolks... what!!?? Ok so I used one egg yolk and slightly less poorman'sgrana though the mixture was still thick-ish.

It was at this point that I remember why I had not made a carbonara up to this point; I am incapable of making a dish everyone else seems to make with so much success. I always end up failing - it is inevitable.

I put the pasta to boil and psyched myself up for the last couple of minutes of putting everything together. Once the pasta was done, I only drained it for a second before returning it to the pan (which was off the heat!)... I bet you could just imagine what happened next! I added some more butter to the pasta along with the egg yolk mixture, and the sauce, erm, became slightly scrambled. Now I'm not talking about full on scrambled eggs, but not exactly glossy and homogenous as Tom said it would be. I added a bit of water to break it up a bit, and it did the trick only slightly, though not much. At this point, I just said 'Fuck it' and continued on. If I was destined to eat scrambled eggs pasta, then so be it! Who am I to tempt fate? I added the lovely and crispy asparagus to the pasta, tipped the pasta onto a plate, and sprinkled the top quite generously with some poorman'sgrana - if I was going to get wet, might as well go swimming! Well here is the final creation.

It actually tasted really really good. The egg part kind of blended into the pasta, albeit in a clangy non-smooth way, but I didn't feel like I was eating scrambled eggs + pasta. The asparagus worked really well with the cheese and pasta. I'll probably make the bacon pasta for Rafa one of these days so will have another chance to royally fuck up - or maybe not. Maybe my parmesan was too finely grated (a la Microplane) causing the mixture to be so thick, or maybe I should let the pan cool further down before adding the egg yolk mixture, who knows?

*Looking at the Telegraph recipe (below), I see that Tom does not add the parmesan to the egg yolks, it is added at the very end!! So I think when I make the bacon carbonara I will just add the yolks at first and the parmesan at the very end before serving. Tom, yer breakin' my heart, man!

Penne with asparagus 'a la carbonara' - Telegraph UK - June 3, 2006

This is great as it is, but classic carbonara fans could also incorporate a little bacon. Simply sweat small cubes of it with the butter, before adding the asparagus, and go easy on the seasoning as the bacon will add a salty note.

1 bunch (normally about 1lb or 500g) asparagus
2 tbsp soft butter
1 tbsp olive oil
10oz/300g penne or garganelli pasta
3 beaten egg yolks
4 tsp salt
4 tsp freshly-ground black pepper
2oz/50g freshly-grated Parmesan
A dozen or so whole leaves of basil

Wash, trim and slice the asparagus spears fairly finely along the bias, in sections that match the size of the pasta.
Heat one tablespoon of the butter with the oil and cook the asparagus gently. Don’t let it brown. Set it aside and cook the pasta.
As soon as it is done to your liking, drain it briefly and return it to the pot, off the heat, with the second tablespoon of butter.
Stir the butter in and immediately add the egg yolks, the seasoning and the asparagus. Stir quickly until you have a glossy emulsion around the pasta and asparagus. Don’t be tempted to return the pan to the heat as it will scramble the eggs.
Add the Parmesan and basil leaves, then test the seasoning before serving immediately.